Aching head, empty heart

I have been trying really hard to be happy with what it is but the world seems to be fighting against me. I know it could be worse and I know that it is worse for many people out there. I put a lot of efforts into making things better but it didn't get any better. I gave my time, it took away my pleasure. I gave my commitment, it took away every possible reward. I gave up of a lot of things because I had to and that was it. I was pulled into a pool of fear and I saw everyone underwater, struggling to get out and breathe for a brief moment. It was not easy on anyone, I know, but it sucked the last drop of innocence and ability to trust that was left in me. I've become bitter.

Problems won't knock me down, but gosh, I wish I didn't have this weight over my back. It's not my fault and I'm tired of having to deal with problems that shouldn't be mine in the first place. Sometimes I look around and I wish things were easier on me. It's just that I have been trying so hard and I don't want anything to get in the way, it's frustrating... I'm tired to worry so much but I don't have a choice. It's right there and I have to take care of those who matter the most, and I would never do any different, even though it kills me that I have to give up on my dreams in order to stay around. It's my youth I'm talking about and the thought of wasting one single year depresses me. It shouldn't be happening, I was supposed to feel free instead. I should not be feeling so... empty. I just hope it's here for a reason and that things will only get better because I still can't believe I have been dragged into this mess.

She never gave up

Some people give up on life
but she never did
she had too much to hold on to
but still, she is gone now

it's not that she was weak (she never was)
she fought while she had the strength to fight
and she smiled while her weak body still let her smile
it was a tough battle after all
and I guess one can only resist for so long