.

Spent hours distracting myself to release my mind from sad thoughts... at the end of the day, nothing helps. I put so much effort into feeling ok only to find out that it's not ok. The day was fine, though nights are never fine. I can't be left alone with my own thoughts. But how do you do that? How do you get rid of your thoughts when you can't think of anything other than not thinking of what you don't want to think? At the end of the day, it's not ok. I'm not ok and life is not ok. And the worst is that it is not a bad dream. I can't wake up from this. But I can sleep.