No matter what.

They told me once how hard it was to explain how they felt. There was a bit of every ingredient, and a bit of unknown. Depends on the situation, the good or the bad times. I tried to tell about stereotypes, about getting to know first, about what was ok and what was wrong. I learned from it about the need to give time to let it go. This was only a part of what I have kept from all the conversations we have had. By working hard on each and every single brick, we built together a home that will never break down. I don't regret being persistent when it felt like it was going to collapse. I gave it a week, I promised myself I'd work hard to make it better for so long. They didn't know I took a pledge, but they knew something had changed. They had open arms for good. When everything seemed perfect, my world crashed down. And I found out that words are tough, sometimes it's hard to find what to say. But at some point, everything became clear. And slowly, we were getting closer. And we came to love each other. I could lean on them, they could lean on me. We'd failed, but mostly, we did it right. We understood each other. We met each other deeply, and could even read each other's thoughts. And at some point, we were able to feel what the other felt. To know without having to speak. To listen what wasn't said. To tease without offending, to laugh without hurting. But all after getting over the first problems, after thinking it wouldn't work, after complaining without letting the other know what we said, what we felt or what we knew they had said. Without letting the other know when we were hurt, till the point the other just knew it. We learned to deal, we learned to understand and to count 1,2,3 not to give up. They taught me - without knowing it - that I could be perfect, but also that I could fail. They taught me without really aiming to teach me, and I made them learn. I made them cry, they made me cry. We learned from the silence. We feared the end. And this is a little of what we had to go through to realize we had turned into a family. It was when we felt free to judge without condemning, so we could teach and learn. There was a free space then, a space that didn't ask for ceremony, but always required respect. And so we moved on. And kept moving on. It was when the silence was no longer uncomfortable that we realized how close we were. And despite the failures, the challenges, the lessons to be learned...I couldn't imagine anyone replacing the place they occupied in my heart. And what I mean by "no matter what" is that it's so strong it's unconditional. No matter what.