A dark post

We live with a fear of death. It's crazy how we have to go on, aware that everything will be over at some point. The thing is that most people face it in different ways. Some live fully, some give up from trying hard. Some just want to believe there will be something else somewhere after this life, but nobody has a clue of what it could be. There are people who spend their lives praying and praying, worrying whether they are going to that freaking paradise once they die. Human beings insist on making up explanations to convince themselves they are better than anything else, they have this need to proof they are on the top of everything, even when all they say is bullshit. I like to admit I simply don't know. We all just can't tell. That's why I find it unreasonable to waste my time worrying about the unknown, obligating myself to have faith on things I don't really believe on because there's nothing to proof right from wrong. The truth is that no one knows and no one will ever know... not in this life (if there's even other anyways).
What I can say is that I carry this fear as well. I'm frightened about that, actually. I don't really care about where I'm going to go, where we all end up. I don't even think I believe there's somewhere else, even though I wish there was. We may all turn into powder or dirt (and only). However, I care about life, about living, about my loved ones I would leave if I die. About my accomplishments for which I worked so hard, it's unfair to have to leave that behind. And the craziest feeling is that I don't ever want to leave. And worse than that... I'd rather leave than be left. In other words, I'd rather die than face death. I can't imagine how devastating it would be for me to find myself in this crazy world without someone I love. That's the reason why life is a scary place to be at. Because we have to face our greatest fear everyday as the only certainty we have. Death is a fact.